Wednesday, 7 February 2018

10 advices from Japanese family life!



1.請不要堅持跟兒子與媳婦同住，最好把他們趕出去。就算他們只能租房子，那也是他們的事情。
 遙遠的距離美感，保證讓你們婆媳,公媳關係良好。
Don't encourage your son and his wife to stay under same roof with you. Best to suggest them to move out, even to the extent of renting a house.  It's their problem to find a separate home.
More the distance between you and your children's families, the better is the relationship with your in laws 
 
2.不要把您媳婦當女兒，只要把她當作您兒子的老婆、您的朋友，那也就可以了。

您可以把您兒子永遠當作未成年，但請把您媳婦當作同輩一般的尊重。您罵她一句，她會記一輩子。
   
這世界上，只有她媽能管她，而她媽不是您俩老。
Treat your son's wife as his wife, not as your own daughter, maybe just treat her as a friend. Your son would always be your Junior  but, if you think that his wife is of the same rank and if you ever scolded her, she would  remember it for life.
In real life, only her own mother and not u will b viewed as a person qualified to scold or correct her. 

3.您媳婦亂買東西、愛看韓劇、喜歡滑手機、不洗衣服煮飯、衛生習慣不好、不愛整理家裡、不會帶小孩等等的壞習慣，通通不關您事，那是您兒子跟她之間的事情，而您兒子的事情，也不關您的事，他真的成年了。
Whatever habits or characters your son's wife has is not your problem at all, it is your son problem.  Your son's problem isn't  your problem as he is an adult already

4.如果住在一起，請互相尊重。不要去碰他們夫妻的東西，不要幫他們洗衣服煮飯、不要幫他們帶孫子。

除非您的媳婦拜託您，而您行有餘力願意幫忙，再考慮就好。

他們的事，自己處理，不要煩您。
Even living together, made each other businesses clear, don't do their laundry, don't cook for them and don't baby sit their children. Unless, of course, special request by your son's wife and you felt that you're capable.
Most importantly, you shouldn't worry about your son's family problems. Let them settle themselves

5.他們夫妻吵架，請裝作沒聽到。

您跟您老公吵架，會希望婆婆，公公介入嗎？
如果不希望，您現在介入會不會很怪？
   
兒子抱怨的時候，就說媳婦好話，而且立刻忘記。至於媳婦抱怨，那就多罵您兒子幾句。
Pretend to b blind and deaf when your son and his wife are quarrelling.  It's normal that the young couple do not like their parents to b involved in the dispute between husband and wife. 

When your son gets angry, say something good about his wife. On the other hand, when she gets angry, scold your son.

6.孫子的爸媽是您兒子與媳婦，不是您老公與您。

隔代教養是不理想的，盡量讓他們親自帶孩子，尤其不要剝奪媳婦教養孩子的權利，
 
他們的价值觀与你不一样，怎麼看不慣，後果也是他們擔。
Your grandchildren totally belong to your son and his wife. However they want to raise their children,  it is up to them.  The credit or blame would be on themselves.

7.媳婦沒必要孝順您，該孝順您的是兒子，請培養兒子，成為一個有擔當的男人，協助您跟媳婦之間的相處。

媳婦對您的好，要時常掛在嘴上，您對媳婦的好，要立刻忘記。
Your son's wife need not necessarily  respect and serve you. It is the son's duty.  You should have taught your son to be a better person so that you and your son's wife relationship could be better. Always  tell others how well your son's wife treated you but, never ever tell others how well you treated her.

8.兒子在法院談離婚的時候，請不要來。

這樣會讓他看起來很像媽寶，而且您也進不來調解室與法庭，只能在外面乾著急而已。
Never be present inside the court room if your son wanted a divorce

9.多規劃自己的退休生活，不要把重心放在兒子女兒身上，人生即便已經過半，還有許多有趣的新鮮事物可以學習。

讓自己的晚年生活更璀璨，是您的任務，請在死去前把所有的財產花光，不要讓財產變成遺產。
Do more planning for your own retirement, don't rely on your children to take care of  your retirement. You had already walked through most of your journey in life, there are still a lot of new things to learn through out the journey
It is your own interest that you enjoy your retirement years.  Better if you could utilise & enjoy everything that you had saved before you die.  Don't let your wealth become worthless to you.

10.孫子不是你們家的，而是他爸媽的寶貝.
Grandchildren don't belong to your family, they're their parents precious gift


很棒的文章跟大家分享,不要自己看而已哟，打印出来送给爸妈，岳父母，公公，丈母娘，你老公，你老婆。

The above message is not only for you, please share it with your friends,  parents, in-law, uncles, auntie, husband or wife to find peace & progress in life.


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